Today you started school. Today I was lost without you. We walked together hand in hand towards the school gates, chatting about what was going to happen. You told me on several occasions not to get upset.
We walked into the large playground. A few minutes earlier you looked so big and grown up in you school uniform. You now looked so little and I honestly wanted to pick you up and run back home. We walked over to where all your friends were standing and waited for the school bell to sound. The first of many. When it sounded, we all lined up and walked around to what would be your classroom for the next year.
I told you to look for your hook where your PE will sit. You instantly recognised it. We entered your classroom and placed your book-bag in the crate and you went and joined all the other children on the carpet. This was where I left and let you enjoy your day,
Today, you were 1/6 to stay all day. I was nervous, scared and excited for you. This was the first time you had been left at school all day (you were never left at play-school for more than 3 hours). I arrived back home and I cried into a pillow, I felt rather sad that my baby girl had actually just walked into a class room with no trouble what so ever! I was half expecting you to hang of my leg and kick up a little bit of trouble, but no, you went in, sat down and left me standing there. I think deep down I wanted you to at least maybe show some sort of attachment to me, say to me you wanted me to stay. I have to realise you are no longer a baby, but a beautiful little girl.
You looked gorgeous in your school wear today, and although you managed to come out with someone else’s hair accessories , styled in your very own way, hair all over the place, declaring it was a good look. I am sure, its not the first or last time I will end up with someone else’s items!
You arrived back home a different little girl. I watched you this morning when I had got you dressed, there was something different, something that was not quite right, I could not put my finger on it. When you arrived home it hit me, it hit me hard. I no longer have a child that attends part time play-school, I have a child who attends full time education. I am now part of the school run mum club (I wont be driving to school!!) I no longer have a baby girl, I had a baby girl who seems to have grown into a little girl the last few weeks. You look so much older in your uniform and it took me by complete surprise this morning.
You asked me as you were eating your snack if I had got upset, I didn’t answer as I actually didn’t know what to say, your answer to that was,
you did, didn’t you mummy? you did! Oh mummy you really are silly aren’t you!!
The days you are at school I am going to miss you, the weekends we have together I am going to cherish.
Mummy Hearts You