When I was younger it wasn’t really a known thing to me about how Cancer can rip through a family. I am not sure if its because I have now been affected with it, that I think about the effects it has on people.

When I was told I have melanoma it was simple, I had it and that was that. The worst part was telling people and how they would react. My mum, my sister, my dad, my in-laws and my sister in laws. Those were the people that mattered and those were the people I wanted round me. I didn’t tell anyone else for a good week or so, I felt ashamed and quite honestly I didn’t want the pity.  I needed to come to terms with it myself before others started being to kind.

It was weird, I had it and then I didn’t, it was taken out of me and just like that it was over, but the after effects of the surgery and hospital visits still has me down as a cancer patient and even though I don’t want to think about it I do on a daily basis, that it could come back. It could return and that is a huge black cloud that is following me around.

Lately I have thought about how people actually cope with the long term effects, I was lucky enough that my melanoma didn’t spread, but its not like that in most cases. I watched the dreaded Stand Up 2 Caner and since then, I can’t stop thinking about all those people that suffer, that leave loved ones behind, children behind, family and friends behind. Its truly awful and something I can’t get out of my head. It pains me that people go through the horror of this disease.

I have a friend and devastatingly her best friend passed away and left a husband and two girls. Even though I didn’t know her, it bloody cut me up, I was so upset, I cried, I cried alot that this horrible disease can do that, can take up home in someone so innocent and basically rip her life apart. Rip everybody’s life apart.

One in two people will develop cancer at some point in their lives, In 2020 almost one in two people (47%) will get cancer in their lifetime, but almost four in 10 (38%) will not die from the disease, according to new projections from Macmillan Cancer Support. that statistic is huge and so bloody scary.

It chose me. I wish it hadn’t but it did. I ask myself on a daily basis, why, but I never get an answer. I never will, I will never know why I am the one in two, I will never know why it chose me.



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