Tag: MELANOMA

A LITTLE UPDATE | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

A LITTLE UPDATE | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

Its been a while since I last updated my you all about my melanoma journey. Its been a strange few months and I just haven’t wanted to blog about it. When things get on top of me I find it quite therapeutic releasing the thoughts […]

THE STORY BEHIND THE SCARS | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

THE STORY BEHIND THE SCARS | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

Its taken me quite sometime to get this post up. I am not sure what took me so long. I’ve been hanging out till I got the results but then I just couldn’t bring myself to type it up. Its so hard, even now a […]

THE WAIT BEGINS | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

THE WAIT BEGINS | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

So here I am again.Β Waiting, waiting for those all important words of “all clear.”Β This is the worst bit about my journey. I can just about cope with them telling me I need more surgery. Its a shock when they do but I come to terms with it in my own way. The waiting for the results is quite understandably the the most nerve wracking time. The will it be good news or bad, will they call or will they write. I have learnt that the telephone call is always bad news and a letter is the best news. I do not want that call.

Ever since I found out about my skin cancer, my mantra has been “punch fear in the face” but over the last few days I’m finding that a little difficult.Β On Saturday I wasΒ back in for another op to remove two new moles that have appeared right next to the original melanoma and punching fear seems more scary than ever before

I laid on the table and every thought process imaginable went through my head. In the 40 minutes that I was being cut into I had visions of me being bought back in. Receiving that telephone call, relaying the results onto family which in all honesty is the worst thing I have to do. Relaying bad news is never nice but when it comes to health its just a whole new level of scariness.

Its hard to bury your head in the sand when it comes to something so important. Never did I think I would ever be facing anything like this. Nor did I ever think I would be in the system as a cancer patient. Never did I think it would get me.

Again I am struggling to see past the good and thinking the worst. The moles they removed were new, brand bloody new, not even a year old and right by the original melanoma site. Obviously a huge concern when you have previous history of skin cancer. They were itchy, which I confused with the old scar as they said that would itch whilst it heals. They were actually the moles that were itching which is never a good sign either. The odds are not in my favour and I am scared I am going to get that dreaded phone call and not the letter.

Its hard, so very hard. Its scary, so very scary and all I can do is wait.

 

JUST WHEN I THINK EVERYTHING IS OK, THEY COME UP TRUMPS AND KNOCK ME BACK AGAIN

JUST WHEN I THINK EVERYTHING IS OK, THEY COME UP TRUMPS AND KNOCK ME BACK AGAIN

Its that time again where I made that fateful journey to the hospital. Friday was mole check day, and these are the appointments I hate. These are the appointments I stress over for weeks in advance. These are the appointments I wish I never had […]

I AM THE 1 IN 2

I AM THE 1 IN 2

When I was younger it wasn’t really a known thing to me about how Cancer can rip through a family. I am not sure if its because I have now been affected with it, that I think about the effects it has on people. When […]

A QUICK UPDATE | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

A QUICK UPDATE | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

I have been quite vocal about my Melanoma journey on the blog. I was diagnosed with Skin Cancer last year and although everything is going well its still an ongoing battle. Last month I was back in hospital having another mole removed {3 in total} It was quite a shock when I was told I had to have more surgery,.

One month post op and with the results in I am pleased to say it was a benign mole and thankfully nothing sinister. The relief that I felt when I received the results over the phone was quite understandably euphoria. No one likes waiting and waiting for results which can potentially change your life again is by no means easy.

My world was turned upside down when I heard those 3 words. The three words everyone dreads, Sorry Its Cancer but determination and strength has got me through it. Its been both physically and mentally draining and I have been left with physical scars that show me what I have overcome. Its been hard, but the support from family and friends has been truly amazing. They pick me up when needed and I couldn’t ask for anything more. They ground me and make me see sense and show me how far I have come.

In a few short weeks, I have another plastics appointment where they will check over the existing scars I have been left with. I am currently having treatment on one as the operation left me with nerve pain. It was quite a deep incision and it was inevitable that due to the place of the melanoma they were going to cut through a nerve. I will also be in talks about tidying up the ends of the scar as I currently have some ugly bumps which to be honest didn’t bother me, it again shows me what I have been through, but I actually hate it, it makes the scar look ugly and although people say it looks fine, to me its like a flashing red beacon on my neck. I can cope with the scar, I have accepted it as part of me now but the big bobble on the end is not. I notice it every time I look in the mirror or more vainly when I am in photos. My plastic surgeon has told me its an easy fix.

My next big appointment is just before Christmas and those appointments are the ones I get most anxious about. Its nerve wracking sitting, waiting, having someone check you over fully with a magnify glass, umming, ahhing then telling you what needs to be done. I have my fingers, toes, arms, legs crossed that this appointment goes to plan. I am hoping that unlike last time, its an ok appointment, but until then all I can do is put it to the back of my mind and try not to worry about the what-ifs