Tag: MELANOMA

WHAT SKIN CANCER LOOKS LIKE | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

WHAT SKIN CANCER LOOKS LIKE | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

I read an article the other day and it made my blood boil. It made me so cross I threw my phone out of my hand and took a few deep breaths. That article was about how British people were parading around on social media, […]

A LITTLE UPDATE | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

A LITTLE UPDATE | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

Its been a while since I last updated my you all about my melanoma journey. Its been a strange few months and I just haven’t wanted to blog about it. When things get on top of me I find it quite therapeutic releasing the thoughts […]

THE STORY BEHIND THE SCARS | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

THE STORY BEHIND THE SCARS | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

Its taken me quite sometime to get this post up. I am not sure what took me so long. I’ve been hanging out till I got the results but then I just couldn’t bring myself to type it up. Its so hard, even now a year and a half in I still struggle to adjust to all the hospital visits, surgeries and recovery.

The last month has been so intense. Its been a whirlwind if I am honest. Since the end of January, I have been in hospital twice to remove three rogue moles. Surgery for me is something I struggle with. The build up, the day itself and the recovery. I struggle immensely. I am sure anyone would. Its a 40-60 minute procedure but strangly its takes a lot out of you and I think the worry beforehand plays a huge part.

I still feel angry and I still feel betrayed by the sun. I’ve struggled to get my head round it and I still panic like mad. I’m constantly on mole watch and it seems to have taken over my life. I spend most of my time searching for new moles and meticulously looking over G and H. Every time I look in the mirror I see the effects that this horrid disease has had on me. Permanent signs I have battled against it.

This time I had 3 moles removed, two behind my ear and the third running along my collar bone. The two behind my ear were the worrying ones. They had appeared with the last year and it sparked alarm bells. 2 new moles appearing next to the original Melanoma site was never going to be good. It was an urgent referral. The placing of the moles were not in an ideal place and recovery took some time. I am still in some discomfort but the whole area is still very sensitive from my original operation. I finally received my results last week and I am so happy that both moles came back ok. Nothing sinister. It was a very long four weeks wait and receiving that letter was the news I needed to hear.

My third operation was pretty horrific. Not in the sense of it went wrong. The placing of the mole was not great, It meant I was in a lot of pain, more so than my previous operations and not only that I managed to pull the stitches whilst shopping. I actually yelped in pain, giving the cashier a bit of a fright and I returned to the car and cried. I called Mr B and sobbed down the phone. This was the one I struggled with, I think I had finally hit a brick wall and was quite frankly fed up with the poking around, the continuous looks and questions. But a week later, when the pain subsided I had forgotten about all of that!

I am still waiting on the results but I have been told by my consultant that are really doesn’t think its anything sinister, but placement of the mole I wanted it off. It wasn’t vanity, I was scared, scared that the sun would find its way and once again ruin my body.

5 surgeries and 6 moles I have had removed, It’s hard I won’t lie but I do think positively and with the support of my family and friends it’s a lot easier! I have so much support from a lovely bunch of people and I couldn’t ask for anything more. I have friends who rally round me and offer their help with G and H when needed and I am so very grateful.

In the above picture  you can just about see the faint scar line of my original Melanoma site. Its fading at long last, but along with it I have an extra 5 scars scattered over my body. 5 scars that tell a very important story. A story that I survived. It’s a lasting memory of what I’ve overcome and still overcoming.

THE WAIT BEGINS | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

THE WAIT BEGINS | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

So here I am again. Waiting, waiting for those all important words of “all clear.” This is the worst bit about my journey. I can just about cope with them telling me I need more surgery. Its a shock when they do but I come to terms […]

JUST WHEN I THINK EVERYTHING IS OK, THEY COME UP TRUMPS AND KNOCK ME BACK AGAIN

JUST WHEN I THINK EVERYTHING IS OK, THEY COME UP TRUMPS AND KNOCK ME BACK AGAIN

Its that time again where I made that fateful journey to the hospital. Friday was mole check day, and these are the appointments I hate. These are the appointments I stress over for weeks in advance. These are the appointments I wish I never had […]

I AM THE 1 IN 2

I AM THE 1 IN 2

When I was younger it wasn’t really a known thing to me about how Cancer can rip through a family. I am not sure if its because I have now been affected with it, that I think about the effects it has on people.

When I was told I have melanoma it was simple, I had it and that was that. The worst part was telling people and how they would react. My mum, my sister, my dad, my in-laws and my sister in laws. Those were the people that mattered and those were the people I wanted round me. I didn’t tell anyone else for a good week or so, I felt ashamed and quite honestly I didn’t want the pity.  I needed to come to terms with it myself before others started being to kind.

It was weird, I had it and then I didn’t, it was taken out of me and just like that it was over, but the after effects of the surgery and hospital visits still has me down as a cancer patient and even though I don’t want to think about it I do on a daily basis, that it could come back. It could return and that is a huge black cloud that is following me around.

Lately I have thought about how people actually cope with the long term effects, I was lucky enough that my melanoma didn’t spread, but its not like that in most cases. I watched the dreaded Stand Up 2 Caner and since then, I can’t stop thinking about all those people that suffer, that leave loved ones behind, children behind, family and friends behind. Its truly awful and something I can’t get out of my head. It pains me that people go through the horror of this disease.

I have a friend and devastatingly her best friend passed away and left a husband and two girls. Even though I didn’t know her, it bloody cut me up, I was so upset, I cried, I cried alot that this horrible disease can do that, can take up home in someone so innocent and basically rip her life apart. Rip everybody’s life apart.

One in two people will develop cancer at some point in their lives, In 2020 almost one in two people (47%) will get cancer in their lifetime, but almost four in 10 (38%) will not die from the disease, according to new projections from Macmillan Cancer Support. that statistic is huge and so bloody scary.

It chose me. I wish it hadn’t but it did. I ask myself on a daily basis, why, but I never get an answer. I never will, I will never know why I am the one in two, I will never know why it chose me.

 

A QUICK UPDATE | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

A QUICK UPDATE | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

I have been quite vocal about my Melanoma journey on the blog. I was diagnosed with Skin Cancer last year and although everything is going well its still an ongoing battle. Last month I was back in hospital having another mole removed {3 in total} […]