Tag: MELANOMA

THE OVERWHELMING SENSE OF GUILT

THE OVERWHELMING SENSE OF GUILT

Last week, I was at the hospital. It was supposed to be a very easy appointment, one where I should of left with a slight spring in my step knowing that my scars of previous operations were healing well. Because of this, I was in […]

WHAT SKIN CANCER LOOKS LIKE | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

WHAT SKIN CANCER LOOKS LIKE | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

I read an article the other day and it made my blood boil. It made me so cross I threw my phone out of my hand and took a few deep breaths. That article was about how British people were parading around on social media, […]

A LITTLE UPDATE | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

A LITTLE UPDATE | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

Its been a while since I last updated my you all about my melanoma journey. Its been a strange few months and I just haven’t wanted to blog about it. When things get on top of me I find it quite therapeutic releasing the thoughts in my head. Its like counselling but there is no-one sitting on the couch opposite. I have bundled all my thoughts in my head and I feel like I need to get it all out.

Last time I updated I was waiting. Waiting for those dreaded results. I did mention in a post that thankfully everything came back clear. I had 3 moles removed and I was so worried that something was wrong. The sense of urgency didn’t help. The result was all all fine in the end but the whole process is nerve wracking and so stressful. I over think things and I always think the worst. Its hard not to when you’ve been in the firing line of potentially bad news.

Last month I had a plastics surgery appointment and I don’t ever work myself up half as much as I do when I have a skin cancer appointment. The appointment was running two hours behind and by the time I went in I was actually a nervous wreck! I had sat and dwelled on everything that had happened within the last year and a half and got myself in to a bit of a pickle. I still struggle even today to come to terms with it and I still get quite angry, sounds silly but thats the anxiety talking.

Apparently my original scar is healing really well. I am still having nerve damage treatment on it as its still quite painful. The treatment has dwindled and I am not going as often which is always good news as its doing the job and lasting longer each time. My consultant said that the whole scar looks great. Unfortunately my most recent operation has bought back some pain to the original site. We are going to continue with the treatment for the foreseeable.

My scar, I hate it, I hate the way it travels down the side of my neck. I still try and cover its as much as possible. Now the weather is warming up I am struggling to hide it. Its not as noticeable now but when you know its there you have this overwhelming sense that everyone knows and everyone is looking. I know its not the case, thats what my mind is telling me and its hard to tell it to stop.

My next appointment is a big one. I have no particular worries yet. I am sure I will panic like mad before hand and pick something out for my consultant to check. For now I have a bit of a break from hospitals. I will be enjoying the freedom of no doctors, no consultants and no checks..

THE STORY BEHIND THE SCARS | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

THE STORY BEHIND THE SCARS | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

Its taken me quite sometime to get this post up. I am not sure what took me so long. I’ve been hanging out till I got the results but then I just couldn’t bring myself to type it up. Its so hard, even now a […]

THE WAIT BEGINS | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

THE WAIT BEGINS | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

So here I am again. Waiting, waiting for those all important words of “all clear.” This is the worst bit about my journey. I can just about cope with them telling me I need more surgery. Its a shock when they do but I come to terms […]

JUST WHEN I THINK EVERYTHING IS OK, THEY COME UP TRUMPS AND KNOCK ME BACK AGAIN

JUST WHEN I THINK EVERYTHING IS OK, THEY COME UP TRUMPS AND KNOCK ME BACK AGAIN

Its that time again where I made that fateful journey to the hospital. Friday was mole check day, and these are the appointments I hate. These are the appointments I stress over for weeks in advance. These are the appointments I wish I never had to attend. Its made even worse when the clinic is running behind and your stomach is churning, echoing around the silent waiting room.

Its hard to walk into the room with your head held high, the scenario playing out in your mind, but I walked in positive, Mr B following behind me. I had a query, a mole that was itchy and bled a little, but that came back ok, but for peace of mind I wanted it off, and for there peace of mind they agreed. I also ask about something that had appeared on my forehead but again that was fine and thankfully just looks like dry skin!

The appointments are quite in depth, you strip down and they check you from head to toe, checking every single mole, every blemish. Its not nice and I get a bit embarrassed laying there are they use a microscope to check. Its always a worry that they come back and say they are not happy, and thats exactly what they did do. Your heart sinks, your shoulders fall and you think, will this ever end.

When I had the melanoma removed they always said that I would need to keep a close eye on the surrounding area. If the cancer was to come back, it would come back near the original site.

They picked up 2 new moles that appeared next to my scar which runs down the side of my neck. I always knew I had one mole which was always there {I could feel it} but I didn’t know anything about the two new ones. It came as a shock and I felt like I had neglected myself. I felt like I had failed in keeping a check on things.

For obvious reasons these two moles have to come off. I am now on a two week urgent referral. The wait is painful, waiting to hear the phone ring. Looking out the window constantly to check to see if the postman is coming up the drive. Waiting continuously to find out when I be be rid of these moles is tedious and stressful. The only saving grace is, its Christmas so I have lots to take my mind of it

In total I would have had 4 operations and 6 removals. 2 visible scars, one running down my neck and one running down my collarbone {the others are hidden} Its been an eventful year and I am hoping as time goes by, it will get easier but, just when I think everything is ok, they come up trumps and knock me back again…

I AM THE 1 IN 2

I AM THE 1 IN 2

When I was younger it wasn’t really a known thing to me about how Cancer can rip through a family. I am not sure if its because I have now been affected with it, that I think about the effects it has on people. When […]

A QUICK UPDATE | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

A QUICK UPDATE | MY MELANOMA JOURNEY

I have been quite vocal about my Melanoma journey on the blog. I was diagnosed with Skin Cancer last year and although everything is going well its still an ongoing battle. Last month I was back in hospital having another mole removed {3 in total} […]